Thursday, 31 December 2009

The traditional new year musings

Here we are at the end of 2009, or here I am anyway – dunno where/when you’ll be when you read this but I hope it’s all good.  Time now to do the Janus thing & take a look at the passing and incoming years…

Things I’ve enjoyed in 2009:
  • My work, both writing and modelling.
  • My friends and family, who I often ignore but do love very much.
  • Some decent films – Law Abiding Citizen was one of my favourites, and District 9 was highly engaging for such a simple narrative.  Avatar was fairly unoriginal but very nice to look at.  Gamer was much less brainless than expected and quite entertaining.  Watchmen was good as a film, though lacking some of the depth of the graphic novel.  (And Adz the Russian still hasn’t got over the sight of Dr Manhattan’s giant blue penis.)
  • Music in all its forms.  There’s too much to list.
  • Making a brief foray into burlesque dancing, only to get pregnant a couple of weeks after my first show.
Things I’ve disliked in 2009:
  • Losing my old job, though my self-employed work now is much more rewarding & less stressful.
  • Arguments, of which I have had many.
  • Some terrible films – Wolverine (blandly rolling around in its own mediocrity; why introduce Deadpool, only to make such poor use of him?  Though apparently there’s plans to give Deadpool his own movie…), Paranormal Activity (no, looking like camcorder footage doesn’t make it any scarier when fuck all much happens),  and Drag Me To Hell (wtf happened to the horror-comedy genius that was Sam Raimi?).  And a special mention for 2012, which was not only scientifically dodgy as fuck, but also managed to be dull and repetitive (oh no! drive this vehicle while buildings fall down and the road drops away behind us! again!) and ridiculously over-long.
  • Not having enough time to read lots of books. 
Hopes, fears and predictions for 2010:
  • Giving birth to my first (and only) child.  At home.  I’m terrified and excited in equal measure, and I expect the balance to tip in favour of terrified as the due date approaches.
  • Maternity leave.  No doubt money will be in short supply, but I’m looking forward to it nonetheless.
  • More writing, more modelling, more work that’s personally (and financially) fulfilling.
  • A holiday, if we can manage it.
  • Making my own fetish clothing & accessories, starting with some fetish maternity clothes.  I’ll show you when they’re done.
  • Global climate recovery policies – we need them.  I feel shame that I haven’t wasted less and recycled more this year.
  • Hair dye – oh, how I’ve missed you.  Pregnant hair is unpredictable, so I’ve been laying off the bleach & krazy kolor.  It’ll be good to have my bright hair back again soon.  In the meantime, wash-out reds will have to do.
  • More bdsm play.  I have so much wicked stuff to play with, I don’t want to leave it sitting in the cupboard for months at a time next year…
  • And finally, “world peace”.  I don’t believe it’s possible or even healthy, but it sounds nice.

Have a lovely New Year’s Eve, wherever you are, and do what you can with the new year.  Maybe it’ll be your best yet.

Machivelli Id by Mike Crawley, edited by Michelle Strottner and Machiavelli Id

Machivelli Id by Mike Crawley, edited by Michelle Strottner and Machiavelli Id

[Via http://machiavelliid.wordpress.com]

Sunday, 27 December 2009

The Return Of dear subbie...

I enjoyed sessioning my dear subbie last night. It has been several months since dear subbie has come/cum to me to enjoy an hour of serving this Mistress. You see, dear subbie is one of those rare few that truly are meant to serve a Dominant Woman.

Our Dominant/submissive roles just flow so smoothly and easily when we session…and last night was evident that it is a good match.

Dear subbie arrived right on time…a few minutes early but tended to parking his car and preparing to enter this Mistress’ lair…I didn’t want dear subbie to catch a chill so I had him come right on into the house before disrobing. I turned up the furnace when I got home from work so that the house was nice and toasty and conducive to running around naked. I wanted dear subbie completely naked before me to use as I desired…and I did just that…

I had dear subbie strip off his clothes right there in the living room. I got right to inspecting my “property” and enjoyed watching him shiver and moan as I touched him and ran my fingers and hands all over his bare skin…I covered dear subbie’s head with my full bondage hood, which also served to keep dear subbie’s bald head covered and warmed…his body was soon warmed as well…as I said, I didn’t want dear subbie to catch a chill while serving his diabolical Mistress!!!

I realize now that I didn’t take time to put dear subbie across my lap and give him a good paddling for being gone so long from this Mistress…note to self, make sure dear subbie gets the paddling of his life next visit!!!

I did, however, place a good smack with my leather paddle that puts the imprint of “BITCH” on each of dear subbie’s ass cheeks!!

Such a sight to see!!! A light red “BITCH” came up on each of dear subbie’s ass cheeks…I was quite delighted with my work!!

I wanted to see how “open” dear subbie’s man-pussy would be after going several months without training…it my delight, dear subbie’s man-pussy was quite receptive of the invasion of my finger…then two-fingers…then my blue dildo…I was, to say the least, quite pleased with dear subbie’s man-pussy and how quickly it opened up when Mistress began her play…

It didn’t take long for me to have dear subbie begging this Mistress to fuck his man-pussy, give it to him…and give it to him I did…I then put my strap-on dildo device on and proceeded to rub the head of that rubber cock on the tight little rosebud of dear subbie’s man-pussy…even going so far as to get the condom-covered head of this particular dildo inserted to the rim of the head into dear subbie’s man pussy…I loved pressing my body into dear subbie’s back and ass…fucking dear subbie, if you will!!!!

Our naughty, nasty fun flowed and after I had dear subbie get down on the floor on his knees and pay homage to my rubber dildo by sucking on the head sans the condom, I was ready to take dear subbie back to my bed and further sensually torture dear subbie…

I led dear subbie by the hard cock back to my bedroom…and then placed him in the center of my king-sized bed…I chained him securely to the four corners of the bed and proceeded to do as I pleased with his naked, bound body…and use him for my amusement and sexual pleasure I did…I was so hot and wet, nothing turns me on more than having a man chained spread-eagle to my bed, helpless to get away from my touch, my stroking of his cock…I took a smaller vibrator, covered it with a condom and stuck it in dear subbie’s man-pussy…he writhed and wiggled as I turned the power up on it…then I set to stroking his cock and rubbing my naked body all over him…

I couldn’t stand it any longer, I decided it was time for dear subbie to lick my pussy. I straddled his face and commanded him to lick and lick he did…he only once licked my pussy too hard and a slap of my hand on his hard cock got his attention and he eased off…it had been too long since Mistress had experienced the delightful ministrations of dear subbie’s wicked tongue…it felt so good, so hot and exciting…

It didn’t take Mistress long to give in to her own orgasm and I came with such a shudder and spasms…I rolled over to the side of dear subbie until the waves of ecstasy subsided a bit, then decided it was time for Mistress to ride dear subbie’s hard cock…and ride dear subbie I did!!!!

I released dear subbie’s chain bonds and got right to building to my next orgasm…I could feel my juices running down dear subbie’s cock and onto his balls and down his ass crack…I then commanded dear subbie that I wanted him to fuck me, so I got off of him, basically traded places with him and had him get on me while I laid on my back and fuck me good…it didn’t take dear subbie long to ask permission to cum…permission granted!!!! And cum dear subbie did!!!!

Yes, it was a wonderful session…it was good to have dear subbie to session again…I hope dear subbie won’t go so long between sessions from now on…though I have pointed out to dear subbie that I am a patient Mistress.

[Via http://thematuresexgoddess.wordpress.com]

Saturday, 26 December 2009

Bored

i’m bored.

*taps fingers on the desk and sighs*

i took down and put away all of the Christmas/Yule decorations, potted a plant, cleaned off that catch-all that we call a kitchen table, cleaned my desk, went through my paperwork, put my daughter’s presents into her room, let the dogs out, fed the cats, took out the garbage, made coffee, and now i’m bored.

i usually like this time in the morning.  Alderon is still sleeping, my daughter left early to go to her father’s for the holiday, the house is quiet.

But i am still restless.

i was hoping to get into town today to pick up a few things that i need.  i wanted to pick up a bucket for kaya’s laundry soap along with a few other things.  i can’t do that until Alderon wakes up.  He doesn’t get many chances to sleep in though, so i wouldn’t dare wake Him.

So what do you think of the conviction of that Virginia man who was naked in his own home?  Give me a break!!  i watched the video, and now i’m even more on the man’s side.  i’m naked whenever i can be.  Granted i’m self concious of vanilla people seeing me still and i close all the window blinds so as not to offend them.  That could just as easily been me being criminally convicted.  Knowing this area, i would have also been sent off to the loney bin because i find it sexually arousing to also be beat.  *sighs*

Whatever happen to respect for the human body?  Why do we all have to be ashamed and hide it?  We are supposed to love each other for what’s inside, not the wrappings – or is that not what our parents tell us as we grow up?  He wasn’t doing anything except walking around his house, enjoying his morning cup of coffee.  i bet it wouldn’t have been a problem if someone that society deemed to be a super-hunk was the one walking around.  Who is the going super-hunk of the day anyway?

But the average Joe or Jill – they must cover up!  Who gives a damn about their rights in their own homes!  i say that people shouldn’t be staring in the windows of others anyway. 

*stepping down off of the soap box for now*

i wonder if Alderon is going to want breakfast/lunch right away.  He usually says that it’s too early to eat when He first gets up.  That’s really difficult though because i am very hungry at the moment.  i wonder if i put some hot tea in my stomach it will help.  While i was waiting to see what He wanted to eat last night, He decided to just make Himself something.  i wasn’t sure if that meant that He didn’t want me to eat that late at night (that has been an issue at least once), or if He just didn’t care on way or another.  i don’t really want to go through all that again.

Well, i’m off to find something to do.  And make tea.  And let the dogs in.  And let the cat out.  And i’m sure something else will come to mind.

[Via http://niyamaiu.wordpress.com]

Thursday, 24 December 2009

Sub Frenzy

This is without a doubt the best article on sub frenzy I’ve ever come across.  Doms should be aware of this tendency, particularly in newbie subs, and follow the recommendations below in order to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

========================================

Submissive Frenzies

By Mistress Steel (steelbfl@sonic.net)

Submissive Frenzies are a state or condition that many if not all submissives will experience at one time or another. Many aspects of BDSM are similar to addictions in how they play out in the mind. From that perspective the Frenzies can be considered to be the ‘withdrawal’ stage. The peculiar thing about this is that a submissive need not ever have engaged in a real life D/s BDSM experience to actually go into this state of need. Generally the very first experience a submissive will have will be prior to ever engaging in a real life D/s event. Many submissives can chronicle a ‘longing’ or unspecified ‘need’ which may have begun when they were quite little. This sensation was always present though generally unacknowledged or openly reviewed. In many cases the submissive was not able to identify the source of this sensation. It simply made them restless and on occasion subject to frustrated outbursts.

With the ‘finding’ of the D/s BDSM community many submissives feel a corresponding ’surge’ of excitement. Suddenly they sense or feel that this is the source. The realization or identification of this can be both positive and negative. For many there is a period of denial, anger, repugnance, fear, hesitation, temerity and hope. All of these emotions seem to occur simultaneously leaving behind confusion and anxiety. All at once they begin to ’sort’ the events and motivations that have occurred over their entire lives. Seeing the patterns, the hints, the presence of their desires in so many different ways. It explains previous unexplainable actions they may have taken and views the actions of themselves and others from an entirely different standpoint. As they begin to process all of this new information they become fully aware that the source of all those supressed needs and desires is attainable. Not only that but in a fairly accessible in a timely manner.

What occurs next is a mad dash or race toward ‘finding’ that special person who can attend to those so long unattended needs coupled to a desperate desire to gather more and more information. This often triggers or propels the initiation of a state of frenzy. This is an increasing and progressive sensation of ‘need’. Fairly quickly the submissive may discover that ‘getting their fix’, becomes supremely important in their lives. It can leave them irrational, willing to make poor decisions, rash, impulsive and generally stupid. A submissive in a frenzied state is at their most vulnerable to succumbing to the ploys of those less than admirable. They may become easily enthralled, believe themselves ‘in love’, willing to give over anything (almost literally) in order to fill that enormous void in their life.

Contact with a Dominant, almost any kind will tend to rivet their attention. The very first gift that the submissive gives away here is their common sense. The sensations piggyback, by this I mean that the submissive upon discovering the community and all the excitement and feelings surrounding ‘finding their home’, may easily pile on their ‘desire’ for completion and pounce on the first candidate that comes along as being ‘the one’. They invest everything, believe everything and leap at the opportunity. Too often they discover they have grabbed at a tin ring instead of a brass one, they have some sort of nasty or unpleasant experience and step back trying to discover what is wrong in their new world.

In addition, a submissive who has detached from their Dominant will slowly but surely go into a state of need. This is in my opinion a naturally occurring state by which the submissive projects their availability and desire for a new mate. I should also mention that the experiences within the relationship are in many ways addictive. The state of natural euphoria that a submissive may experience during a scene can set off a hunger to experience that again. This is identical to the introduction of any addictive drug chemistries into the body, the same symptomology in many ways.

A submissive in a pre-frenzy need state will often become very alluring, flattering, flexible. They will mirror the apparent ‘needs’ of the Dominant they are talking to in order to appear to be the perfect candidate for a future alliance. Though the submissives in general do not tend to lie here, many only present partial truth’s. One said to me, “you have to ask me the right question”. This leads to multiple problems including a submissive attaching to a Dominant that is completely unsuitable for them.

As I noted earlier this state of frenzy can occur at any point in a submissive’s life and is not limited to the new submissive. In fact, it occurs sometimes even stronger in more seasoned submissives. They have a need that they recognize as perhaps to ‘have their edges taken off’, and they know exactly how that can be done through their own experience. The difference is that the older submissive can then ‘evaluate’ what part of their need is pressing upon them. Many then learn to go to a Dominant they are not bonded to and ask this person they trust (often as a good friend) to relieve their physical need (play). Many Dominant’s (experienced ones) will be willing to assist or aide their friend knowing that keeping the submissives edges down will allow that submissive to retain the majority of their rational functions while they are seeking their next mate. This action ‘reduces’ the submissives vulnerability.

From a Dominant’s standpoint it is preferable to discourse with a submissive who is in their best condition. It is very important for the Dominant to learn to recognize the symptoms of frenzy and allow for the premise that the submissive’s judgment may be impaired when speaking with them. This allowance should propel detailed questions. Also the Dominant should give ‘few’ hints as to what they may be looking for. In this way the submissive is more likely to reveal themselves as they do not have a guide to go on. By this I mean that the Dominant should take control and ask what the submissive is looking for instead of offering or directing the submissives attention as to what the Dominant is seeking. In this way the Dominant can generally get a clearer picture of where that submissive is in truth. In addition I believe that the Dominant should not allow the submissive to thrust their ’submissiveness’ at them, instead they should require the submissive to respond to them in neutral or top space as an equal from one human to another. This means that allowing a submissive to use an honorific title when addressing the Dominant should be something that submissive should earn the right to do after a period of time. In example . . . I am not every submissive’s Mistress. The right to call me Mistress is something in my real life that I grant seldom and means that this submissive is special to me.

By taking this action the Dominant forces the submissive into a less vulnerable state when conversing with them. Somewhat like drinking coffee to wake someone up. It is also saying that submission is something I (as the Dominant) may allow you to present to me. It is not something I will allow you (as the submissive) to force upon me.

All Rights Reserved By Mistress Steel

comments or e-mail steelbfl@sonic.net

other articles can be found at www.steel-door.com

[Via http://kinkylittlegirl.wordpress.com]

Sunday, 20 December 2009

Dominants Coming Through on Their Word

@Xinergy said on Fetlife:

The Dominant failing to come through with what they say they are going to do is devastating to the submissive. The submissive is in this lifestyle because they need that comfort and safety. They need to believe that if the Dominant says something, it will happen. Without that certainty and trust, how can he or she sink into subspace while chained to something being beaten?

It is indeed completely devastating, particularly when the promises broken are as fundamental as repeatedly violating limits, not respecting her health and safety above his own needs and desires, etc.

It doesn’t matter what else the dominant does in the rest of life, how good he is about his word in other matters both in the relationship and elsewhere, no matter how many other wonderful qualities he has. If he does not scrupulously respect his sub’s limits and boundaries, and remember and honor both the letter and the spirit of relationship-level agreements, he will lose both the trust and the respect of his submissive.

While I don’t think that “need [for] that comfort and safety” is necessarily the reason we are in this (certainly not for everyone), we do in fact absolutely need it to be present, or there’s no possibility of being able to submit to the dominant at any level, whether in play or every day life.

If the dominant then blames the submissive for “making” him not feel domly when she insists on having her limits respected (as any healthy submissive both will and should), then he has indeed completely lost the game, because all that does is hand his own power over completely to her. How can you possibly submit in any way at all to someone who has just put all of his own power and even control of his own sense of himself into your own hands? Alas, it is absolutely impossible, because there’s nothing there to submit to at that point.

If you don’t feel like your submissive trusts you or isn’t being as submissive as you would like (or less so than she was originally), take a good hard look first at your own behavior and how you yourself have likely set that up, because I promise you, that’s where it starts. We are not the ones to start that ball in motion, because that’s not at all where we want to be.

We go into this wanting to trust, expecting to be able to trust and have that trust we place in you held sacred, indeed already trusting up front that you will take care of us in these most fundamental of ways. If you behave in ways that reinforce that trust, it will grow and the relationship will deepen. If, however, your behavior undermines it instead, you will lose it, especially if it turns out to be a pattern.

Oh, and subs, if you see a pattern like this developing, don’t waste your own time hoping it will change. It won’t. It will only get worse over time. Believe your own eyes and feelings; don’t try to make excuses for him and justify it. Bite the bullet and pull the plug on the relationship yourself before it gets out of hand, no matter how many other good qualities the guy has, no matter how good it seems otherwise.

Because a man who will not respect your most fundamental limits and your needs for safety in the way that you need it to be shown, is not the good person he would like to be seen as, and it simply will not change, at least not in time to make a difference in your relationship with him.

I know.  I spent two years making excuses for my ex, both to myself and to others, working my ass off to accommodate him and to find excuses for his bad behavior, while he violated my limits repeatedly, throughout the whole relationship.  If it wasn’t one thing, it was another, or a variation on yet a different theme.  He injured me fairly badly several times, and not only would not take any responsibility for the injuries, or show even the slightest sympathy, nor take care of me by doing things like getting me an ice pack, but he also never even soi much as apologized, even the one time I am absolutely certain it was an accident and completely unpredictable.  He would even get angry when I’d have an asthma attack while we were playing, and accuse me of faking it to get out of playing.  Eventually, he got to where he’d at least get me my inhaler and leave me alone after an attack, but it was clear that he almost never believed I was actually in trouble.  He also never got it that when they were caused by the clothing he insisted I wear (even after I told him straight out that it would cause me difficulty breathing and to go int an asthma attack.

It would look like it would get better for a while, but then we’d be back into the same old cycle, and it just kept getting worse.  At first, I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world, and had found the world’s best guy.  We could have had it all – if he had just been willing to respect my limits, and not behave like a petulant child when he didn’t get what he wanted because I got sick, had an asthma attack, couldn’t physically or emotionally handle something he dished out, etc., and then worse still, blame it all on me.  For a long time, I thought he was a good guy in spite of all of this kind of crap, in spite of my growing unhappiness.

But the reality is that a really good guy won’t take care of you in some areas of life and then completely destroy you repeatedly in another, particularly in one in which you are the most vulnerable, and the most in need of being able to be certain that he holds your safety as sacred.

@Master_Defiant said:

…a dom who is not “capable or willing” to admit to their mistakes. Those guys are not doms, they are wannabe domasses, and there are a lot of them around.

All too many of them, I’m afraid. They give the whole lot a bad name, hurt a lot of people, and turn a lot off to BDSM altogether…

The really sad part is that nothing will actually build trust faster than a dom who both can and will admit to his mistakes – and learn from them, making sure to not repeat them again.

And nothing will destroy it faster than refusing to do so…

[Via http://kinkylittlegirl.wordpress.com]

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

The Fracture Point (Crap, I'm Broken)

The fracture point for me is when (often after a scene or cucking- not during) something that was said or done kind of bounces around in my head like a ping pong ball until FINALLY it knocks off of a sensitive piece of grey matter.  I am struck by abject terror, panic, pain, dread and sometimes anger.  I become literally and figuratively immobilized.  I tend to just sit and stare- I can’t move or talk.  Then the tears come and feeling of wishing I didn’t exist.  The tears tend to pass quickly and with them, most of the really scary feelings.  For us, this is always the goal… however, it is seldom acheived when playing, as we would prefer.  If it occurs before orgasm, it feels so fucking incredible.  If it occurs after, it is a more mixed bag.

Today, I reached the fracture point for the first time in awhile.  We’d been trying and trying but hadn’t hit the right nerves.  If I knew where those nerves were I would gladly direct Master & Ma’am to them, but alas, I don’t.  I honestly think the sneaky bastards regularly move around, duck and weave and try to avert detection.



[Via http://cuckqueanslavery.wordpress.com]

Sunday, 13 December 2009

Sphinxes

My final in Eros. Currently hanging in the Aphrodisiac show in the Meyerhoff.

8×22. Click image to see the full size.

I’m still amazed sometimes when I talk to girls about feeling alienated in our culture, because my desires as a heterosexual female are not considered important, and they tell me “well, have you ever considered that straight girls like to look at other women?”

Fine. Girls are pretty. I get it. But do they answer my deepest needs as a sexual being? No. Not even close. Do those words ring hollow when it’s a fact of life that images of women surround us and far outnumber the images of men ? Yes.

Blatantly sexualized men are considered homoerotic. That means that the intended audience is other men. And because of this, no matter how sexy that image might be, it never the less consistently reminds women who look that they are irrelevant, obsolete.

What is truly obsolete are straight female artists painting images of sexy ladies as if they were doing anything besides buying into a male fantasy that is so pervasive that they have CONVINCED THEMSELVES that this is what turns them on, that they would rather look at this than images of men.

I intend to paint images that turn me on—I have a rich fantasy life that in no way is accurately reflected by the advertising/publishing industry (if you want proof, go to the romance novel section and compare how many men are featured on the covers vs. women. I think you’ll find a lot of sexy lady backs, thighs, and heaving busts…and a dearth of sexy man hands, chests, backs, and hips). Because of this, I get the sense that what I like is not normal. I am alienated, dehumanized. I am expected to buy things because supposedly all women are sexually fluid enough to either be turned on by other women, or put themselves in the place of aroused women in adverts. That’s like seriously expecting a straight guy to get turned on because he sees another man masturebating. In our culture, the former is the normal, expected, acceptable course of things, the latter is clearly defined as homosexual.

I know its scary for men to be objectified. Women have long held the sole claim to that role. It makes you vulnerable and strips away your agency. But objectification, sexualization, can be fun and healing. We are sexual, visual creatures. It is when we say that only one group of people can and should have their desires catered to, or even have desires at all, that sexual violence and oppression are created.

So, ladies, look deep inside yourselves and stop apologizing for liking what you like. Stop being embarassed that you like men, the supposedly rougher, uglier sex (as if—Gary Sinise, David Bowie, and Burn Gorman are hardly otherworldly exceptions to their gender). And if you have the time and inclination, indulge these fantasies by expressing them in some public way. The most empowering thing a woman can do is say, unapologetically, “I choose this; I want this.”

[Via http://celineloupillustration.net]

Saturday, 12 December 2009

Welcome!!!

Hi!  I am Jenn, and I am a slave and cuckquean in a bdsm, polyamorous relationship.  I have both a Master (his name is Steve) and a Mistress (her name is Heidi).  They are twins, and the three of us enjoy a wonderful, exciting, terrifying, and sometimes completely insane day to day life, relationship, and friendship.  Please view my profile bio for more basic info about us or check out the appropriate pages located to the right on your screen.  I intend to post quite alot, and the twins will be posting occasionally.  This is some very intense, sometimes heart wrenching, sometimes alluring, and often arousal inspiring material that we will be sharing with you all.  While it may seem fantastical at times, I assure you that there are no mere lies or fantasies told in this blog.  This is real and this is our life.  Please be respectful of that.  Comments are welcome, but must first be moderated.  We are all very happy that you wish to follow us on our journey through agony, despair, desire, ecstasy, exhileration, fear, humiliation, dominance, submission, and many more quite extreme states of being.

[Via http://cuckqueanslavery.wordpress.com]

Thursday, 10 December 2009

Mr. Jetton, We Are Not Your Human Shield

There’s little that makes me more viscerally angry than when an abuser uses the BDSM community as cover. We haven’t worked for decades to have some modicum of peace with the mainstream and freedom to do what we do just so the same assholes and rapists can do the same abusing and raping they’ve always done and then point to us like we’re a fucking permission slip.

Rod Jetton needs to go to jail.

He’s the former Missouri Speaker of the House. He’s single. He arranged to play with a woman. They had some wine. They arranged a safeword. But then something happened that, assuming the accuracy of the account (and I believe it) is not remotely dabatable.

He poured her a glass in the kitchen and then sat down with her to watch a football game. She noticed herself feeling hazy and felt like she was nodding off. Next thing she knew, she was on the floor and Jetton was allegedly choking her. She says he then hit her so hard she lost consciousness. He apparently stayed over and was all tender to her in the morning. “You should have said green balloons,” she quotes him as saying.

If he drugged her drink, the safeword is irrelevant. He has deliberately defeated her ability to use it. If he didn’t, he’s a highly unethical top. Even if we accept playing with a bottom he didn’t know well who had a few drinks as acceptable conduct — and I don’t, but arguendo — under those circumstances, it’s his heightened duty to make sure she’s fully mentally present during the scene. If he knows they have a safeword, and he knows she’s been drinking, he knows her access to the safeword is impaired, and he’s on notice. He has a responsibility to his bottom.

If it’s not intentional rape and abuse, it’s recklessness; I’m using that term in its technical, legal sense — a state between gross negligence and intent; a state encompassing disregarding a known risk.

On my account, there’s no defense other than that the facts are completely different. And, in a case involving BDSM, I’m going to go ahead and say that the prosecutors are god damned fucking sure they believe every god damned fucking word she said, because they know it’s an uphill battle.

I need a silver lining, and if you feel the way I do, you do too. Here it is: They brought the case. He picked an easy target, a woman he was almost certainly sure would have no redress. She did all the things that victim blamers use against women. She’s kinky. She arranged for sex with a man that, as far as I can tell, she didn’t know well. She was drinking. But she said what happened to her; and the prosecutors believed it and set out to vindicate her rights. They put the myths and blaming to one side and pursued justice.

Of course, there could be more dark clouds coming. As we all know, just because a woman did nothing wrong, just because a man admits he used force, just because a prosecutor believes the complainant’s story and gets an indictment, does not mean that a jury will do the right thing. They may decide to punish her for being the sort of woman they don’t approve of.

And about the survivor: I’ll never meet her and I may never know her name. But she does what it is that we do. She’s my friend and my sister, however far away. I wish her recovery and peace.

H/t Zuzu.

add to del.icio.usAdd to Blinkslistadd to furlDigg itadd to ma.gnoliaStumble It!add to simpyseed the vinepost to facebook

[Via http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com]

Saturday, 5 December 2009

72 - Dreams

It’s five o’clock. I lie awake in bed

And lay out in the dark my clever maps

That lead me to your door, and think perhaps

Today should be the day you hurt instead.

I polish up the weapons in my head -

Make sure they’re sharp, examine all my traps:

And dream of how your life could soon collapse

And everything you love be left for dead.

As daylight comes, the images disperse

(I am a weathercock that spins about)

But every night they keep on getting worse:

Oh, it’ll come to nothing, I’ve no doubt -

Except I’ve noticed this: with you as nurse

Dreams often have a way of working out.

[Via http://jnescio.wordpress.com]

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

I Too Are An Internets Dominate

Ok, this shouldn’t take too long.  Pay attention. There will be a quiz at the end.

I see a fairly common statement made by D-types out on the internets, and I feel compelled to say something. If you have made this mistake, please take note of what I am about to tell you and correct yourself in the future.  It is important.  And this has to be stopped before someone gets hurt. Probably you if you do this.

I see people saying the following all across the internets:

I am a dominate with years of experience.

No. Your not.  If you had years of experience, you would know that what you are is a Dominant. Not dominate. Dominate is what you do, Dominant is what you are.

Lets check the dictionary.

dominate

One entry found.

Main Entry: dom·i·nate

Pronunciation: \ˈdä-mə-ˌnāt\

Function: verb

Inflected Form(s): dom·i·nat·ed; dom·i·nat·ing

Etymology: Latin dominatus, past participle of dominari, from dominus master; akin to Latin domus house — more at dome

Date: 1611

transitive verb 1 : rule, control

2 : to exert the supreme determining or guiding influence on

3 : to overlook from a superior elevation or command because of superior height or position

4 a : to be predominant in b : to have a commanding or preeminent place or position in intransitive verb 1 : to have or exert mastery, control, or preeminence

2 : to occupy a more elevated or superior position

dominant

2 entries found.

1. 1dominant (adjective)

2. 2dominant (noun)

Main Entry: 1 dom·i·nant

Pronunciation: \-nənt\

Function: adjective

Etymology: Middle French or Latin; Middle French, from Latin dominant-, dominans, present participle of dominari

Date: circa 1532

1 a : commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others

b : very important, powerful, or successful

2 : overlooking and commanding from a superior position

3 : of, relating to, or exerting ecological or genetic dominance

Main Entry: 2 dominant

Function: noun

Date: 1819

1 : the fifth tone of a major or minor scale

2 a : a dominant genetic character or factor b : any of one or more kinds of organism (as a species) in an ecological community that exerts a controlling influence on the environment and thereby largely determines what other kinds of organisms are present c : a dominant individual in a social hierarchy

Ok. What did we learn?  Dominate is a verb. That means it is an action, maybe a  mode of being. I run, I dominate. I am not a run.  I am a runner. Dominate is the noun.  Please get it right.

That’s because, you see, we are getting together, the other dominants and I, and we are secretly laughing at you.  Ok, so sometimes it isn’t so secret. And the subs and slaves are with us (except for a few newbies we missed). And they are laughing too.  You should see the SAMS. It isn’t pretty.

Now for the Quiz.

  1. What are you?

Peace and Tranquility.

MV

Yeah I know internets is wrong.  I like it.

Definitions are courtesy Merriam-Webster my preferred dictionary. No compensation was received for this use.

[Via http://houseofvoid.com]

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Is Femdom Erotic Power Exchange A Culture?

Often the erotic power exchange community examines the gay community with a certain amount of envy, as a result of the fact the latter has achieved quite a bit when it comes to general understanding for and acknowledgment of different lifestyles. One of the questions, asked in this respect, is the one about being a culture yes or no.

There are other strategies to discover whether or not BDSM is a culture.

Behavior patterns

therefore the question is : are there such ideas, views and behavior patterns?

Different cultures

Other main differences are in the social behavior patterns. Especially gay men – within their community – aren’t only more open to different forms of sexuality, it is also very common to act out preferences in a nearly more or less public environment such as gay bars and meeting places. Try acting out your heterosexual BDSM preferences in a public bar or in the local community center and you will have great Problems.

So yes, there ARE at least two different BDSM-cultures with their own patterns, behavior and general dynamics.

To determine if BDSM as such is a culture one system is to identify if the phenomena as such has any inlfuence in other social areas. This is a unfinished list of such influences.

* BDSM has a ( infrequently even quite significant ) influence in areas like fashion, pop music, flick industry and art.

* BDSM has its own media ( print and web )

* BDSM has its own places for gatherings ( clubs, the above facilities, groups, gatherings, munches )

* BDSM has its own organisations ( local, countrywide and some – like the NLA – even internationally )

* BDSM has its own ideas, some of which have also been accepted in or adopted by other areas

* BDSM is a cost-effective factor, in the forms of products like videos, toys, gear, more or less dedicated shops, media and art galleries, clothing and such and – wether we adore it or not – prostitution.

* BDSM is scientifically recognized as a phenomena of its own.

* BDSM is condemned by other groups, including some very influential ones.

* BDSM has lead to specific legislation to try a ban it in various states and regions.

* BDSM is the topic of political debates and decisionmaking.

Are there different cultures within hetero BDSM? I have a tendency to think there are at least two : Maledom/femsub and Femdom/malesub. However , there are some basic differences that in my viewpoint make them different ( mind you, I am not suggesting one is far better than the other, just different ). So where are these differences?

.If you need more info just visit my femdom live webcam site and get more infos !

[Via http://femdomwebcamlive.wordpress.com]

It's scary here in my head.

This is what I want: to be bound, to be chained, with no hope of escape, not as a victim, but as a captive beast, something dangerous and feral. I don’t want to be tied to ensure my helplessness, but to ensure your safety. I want to be brought to the point of frenzy, all the layers of humanity stripped from me until all that’s left is teeth and rage.

Yes. Hurt me. Beat me. Goad me into trying to rip your throat out with my teeth alone. The restraints will hold — you’d never be able to push me so far if they wouldn’t. Bring out all the things I’ve spent my entire life repressing, the things I’ve locked down tight because without those safeguards in place, I will hurt someone.

Be careful. I bite, and if you get me to the place I’m talking about, they won’t be gentle little love-bites. I’ll be out to draw blood, to bite off anything that gets in range.

Don’t expect human reasoning or human remorse. It’ll come back later, and if I’ve hurt you, that’s when I’ll blame myself, that’s when I’ll cry and stammer apologies and try to shake off the feeling that I’m deeply, fundamentally wrong, that rabid animals should be put down. But until that point, until later, when I’m calm, when the chains on my psyche replace the ones on my body, I’ll be out to hurt you in ways you really won’t enjoy.

The restraints will hold. Pray they do, I might say, but if you have any doubts, you have no business trying to pull the monster out from under my skin. Back away slowly — don’t turn your back, don’t run. Let me drag myself back to humanity, and I’ll never mention it again. We can play tamer games, where pain comes in carefully measured doses; where one of us will ask the other with all due concern if she’s all right, if she can take this, if she can reason and speak and signal compliance; where the loss of the human mind is a signal to stop, not a goal in itself. We can hold to the illusions of safety and sanity, and never look at the dark things living just behind my eyes.

But if you want to take me to that place, to drag me screaming into that mindset, then your job is simple. Bring me to frenzy, and let me wear myself out. Let the beast rage until it’s exhausted, until the craving for blood can be satisfied by flesh, by vast expanses of unbroken skin, until I’m too tired to care that the whimpers I’m hearing are from pleasure instead of pain.

You can touch me then, if you like. You can stroke my hair and run your hands along my spine. You can even let me loose, so long as you don’t also let your guard down, and I’ll put teeth and tongue to better purposes, lose myself in the smell and taste of you.

And when it’s done, I’ll curl against your side and sleep easily for once, and wake up human again, sane again… or as sane as I get.

Yes, that’s what I want.

I don’t expect to get it.

[Via http://trollopfop.wordpress.com]

Sunday, 29 November 2009

The Form / Without Form / Deform (Die Form)

———

Die Form – Little Boy

Please tell me this doesn’t scare the freaking shit out of you. David Lynch just got thrown into a psychotic BDSM universe where people laugh like maniacs and devour your body parts while playing yoga synthesizers. Fuck.

Will you be ready little boy?

Get ready for exposure, because this post will be massive. French Die Form formed in the late 70’s as a duo, playing cold, dark and dekadent electro-industrial music, sometimes called “darkwave”. Simply mesmerizing. The name of the project plays on the german “die Form” (the form), the english deform, and the french “difforme” (without form). Especially their early stuff sounds so insane and good, so I will keep it at that. Two more tracks from 1987 album Poupée Mécanique (of which the theme seems to be murder):

Die Form – Metaphase

Die Form – Bypass

So how does Die Form usually sound like? The music constantly surprises. They throw all kinds of sounds into the jam: the usual industrial fascination with metal and tools, or even a groovy slap-bass (dwarfing contemporary french electro acts like Justice), or the weird intermezzo of a girl laughing with insanity, or instrumental re-runs of previous tracks (like the main leitmotif of a musical coming back to haunt you). Ever wondered how the soundtrack to a BDSM sex scene would sound like? I guess something like this:

Die Form – Strange[r]

How about Kraftwerk with a hip hop beat:

Die Form – Re-search

The project seems like a labyrinth of strangeness and obscurity when first entering, and you listen through their huge discography with a feeling that every song or album contain so many hidden things, that you cannot (better not?) understand it all. For example, a reviewer said this about their album ExHuman: “Die Form send back out hybrid corpse mechanism era respiration-byte with the abolition world code-maniacs brain universe of a drug fetus”. What the fuck does he mean??? Even their fans seems to have some secret society where everybody speaks in impenetrable code.

Adding to the complexity of this project, they decided to record a whole album of …Bach. Yes, Johann Sebastian Bach, the 18th century German baroque composer. And of course in a cold, industrialized and synthetic interpretation of Bach’s classic works. Like this one.

Die Form – BWV 244-39

Die Form practice “multimedia intervention” by the way, combining sounds with performances, clubbing atmosphere, photography, visual art and cinema/video. I guess you by now realize the erotic theme going through the music. So here’s Die Form when they perform.

———

Die Form myspace

Gallery of Die Form visual art

[Via http://entanglements.wordpress.com]

Saturday, 28 November 2009

BDSM and Mental Health

BDSM and Bipolar for me is a wonderful combination!

While they might not be a great combination for my submissive, it works for me. LOL. I love the feel of release as I inflict pain on my submissive. The weight of the world leaving my mind for that short time as I force the submissive to do things they normally would not do in their true mindset.

Maybe it’s time to find that submissive again. After all it has been a few years since I have had one that wasn’t online. LOL

I’ve come to the realization that my Dominant side is a hiding technique. A way for me to inflict on another the pain I am feeling inside my head and heart. Thats where the Bipolar plays in. Because I am just that confused, I feel I need to give someone else the pain I’m feeling but in a different way. They get the pain through whippings, floggings, humiliation, CBT, and Mind Control (as well as many other ways), I have the pain in my head.

Hum: New thought! Maybe it’s not my Bipolar that instigates this, but my Borderline Personality Disorder since it supposedly is what triggers my emotions where relationships are concerned.

For me, BDSM is not about SEX as it is for most. I don’t personally use it as a sexual release. But here is the clincher; I’m submissive to my partner.

For me being submissive means going into another world, a world where someone else takes over and dominates my existence. So what is my true calling then? That of a Dominant or that of a submissive? I hate the term “switch” as I don’t feel that is me at all. Your either Dominant or submissive, there really is no in between.

I’m confused! LOL

[Via http://wanderingmind7.wordpress.com]

Coffee, Tea or ..............

After more electrifyingly charged exchanges with J, in which he has somehow managed to get me to open up and admit my growing feelings for him, not only as a Dom, but as a man, we are to meet at ten this morning. I really don’t know how I’m managing to function as my head is swimming with anxiety and excitement, all of the things we’ve discussed, from dancing and horse riding to some of the darker things we have in common, are swirling around in my head like a spiraling vortex of emotion.

If indeed J actually does turn up (I have yet no reason to doubt him, but my head will not let me believe until I see), there is no guarantee of course that the chemistry that has been so evident over the ether, will exist in person. And even then, if it does, will that same chemistry mean we are to be friends, lovers, Master and slave or simply two people who share a common interest?

So many questions, so many self doubts, so many nerve endings jangling around my body.

To borrow a line from the movie ‘Working Girl’, I wonder if it will be “Coffee, tea or……..me”.

[Via http://paradisegained.wordpress.com]

Buchkritik: Sklavin in Gefahr (SM-Roman)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Thursday, 26 November 2009

Misunderstandings & Miscommunications

When my mobile gave that familiar beep this morning, I knew the message was from J and despite my doubts after last night I smiled at his “Morning sexy”. My delayed response prompted a further two texts before I could make reply, he was obviously concerned that he may have upset me with the aforementioned night’s text exchanged. What ensued was an hour of further exchanges, with both of us acknowledging that to some extent, there had been a misunderstanding of the situation and messages. Text messages, much like emails are so difficult to understand when they pertain to matters of emotions – I could not see the sincerity of his offer to visit and he could not see my frustration of not being able to receive him. “A steep learning curve” he told me this morning; and though there was misunderstanding on both parts, I am to be “punished”. This thought has made me shake with both trepidation and arousal.

[Via http://paradisegained.wordpress.com]

A Test

J and I have spent several days exchanging messages that have become more and more intense and charged with a chemistry that is electric. Yesterday he affirmed that he wants to “train and mold” me and asked me to consider how, even at this early stage, my inclination to submitting to him is growing. Whilst he was correct in his assumption, I reminded him that life experience has taught me to be cautious when at the start of any relationship, but especially one that involves such high emotions. The first tentative steps where one reaches out to the other can so easily lead to much distress if one or the other suddenly withdraws, leaving the other to stumble or fall flat on their face. Similarly, if one or both try to run before they can walk, more potential disaster looms.

After a very heavy work day and then teaching a three hour dance class, I returned home, showered and prepared for bed. After a brief text exchange with J, he explained he was actually on the road approx. 40 mins away and wanted to come to see me. As I was extremely tired both physically and mentally, and as we’ve planned to meet for the first time at a coffee bar this Saturday, I said that I didn’t think it was a good idea. After 30 mins of texts, which made me feel vulnerable and even more emotional, I gave in and sent him my address, which is something this morning I regret. I told him I felt that he put me under pressure and took advantage of me – he said it had been a test. In the cold light of day, I now have doubts about how much I can or want to trust this man.

[Via http://paradisegained.wordpress.com]

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Stocks torture

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Sunday, 22 November 2009

Ellen V strikes again

I am beginning to feel like a day without Ellen Von Unwerth’s photography is like a day without sunshine.

And by “sunshine,” I mean, “scantily clad pretty people playing with and possibly hurting each other.”

In this case, you got Rosie Huntington-Whitely and Melissa Rose Haro, photographed by EVU in 2005 for the book “Plumes et Dentelles” by beautiful lingerie designer Chantal Thomass. If you wanted to swing by her completely awesome, sexy, incredibly fun, cramazing official site and get me something from there, that’d be a-okay!

[Via http://thethoughtexperiment.wordpress.com]

Friday, 20 November 2009

Writting femdom

I remember when my queen first told me to write a sentense 50 times. It was because I disobeyed her and she needed to remind me.

I wrote it and got my hand tired.

Then it happened again. When I lost my facebook account she thought I left and that made her angery. So when I came back she was glad but still mad at me so my punshment was to write 1-100 in a piece of paper in letters and she will check the spelling. Honestly it was exhausting Finally I got a new writing task which I liked it even it hurts my fingers. To write (I love you Cathy ) 50 times. It was a great mix between getting tired and loving what to do.

She rewarded me so well By something made me forget all the pain and keep all the pleasure. She actually took a snapshoot with my paper. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I first saw her royal fingers holding up my paper. Thank you my queen you are the best.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Advice: Ellen Von Unwerth extremely NSFW edition

I am off to once again attempt to set off soosh bombasticos with the Gentleman, but soon I will have the time to go in-depth on one of my favorite photographers and a former lovely and talented model herself, the awesome Ellen Von Unwerth. Here are pictures from her book Revenge, along with quotes from an interview with author David Bowman.


Ellen Von Unwerth: “It’s good to shock. It’s not good to always be careful. It’s good to disturb a little.”


David Bowman: Have you yourself ever been handcuffed naked to a radiator?
EVU: [Laughs.] No. In every picture there is something personal. Even in the casting — there’s something about a girl. There is always something personal. Do you mean, “Do I get tied up every day?” No. [Laughs.] That’s not the case. When I was a child we would be playing, you know, “You are the slave.” “You are the queen.” “You are mean.” You know, it’s like fairytale.


David Bowman: How did “Revenge” come about?
EVU: I wanted to tell a story almost like a movie. I wanted to do something erotic with girls I knew would have fun doing it. So I wrote this little story and then I photographed it. I booked the girls like a movie cast. Everyone had a character. The guy also. I showed them a script, little drawings. And had them play out little scenes.
David Bowman: Was it fun being so wicked?
EVU: It was very much fun, for the girls and for me.

Saturday, 14 November 2009

bondage, pain and freaky shit

Are you into real kinky freaky, kinky bondage type stuff? Well let us reccomend a community that you might be interested in. The largest online community of bondage and kinky sex lovers can be found at bondage.com.

They boast over 900,000 members and they all love the same crazy bdsm shit you do! You can read personals, forums and discuss erotica, kink and all things bondage. Check it out and find someone to tie up tonight!

click banner to check out bondage.com

go back home

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Good girls don't shave their vaginas!

About a year ago, I went to the store with my mother. My mom is a very conservative woman, while she made sure I knew about sex and love at a younger age than most kids, (out of fear that I’d hear wrong details from kids at school) the discussion of specific sexual acts was pretty much forbidden however. It wasn’t until was in my mid twenties that I was even able to say the word blowjob around my mom without her trying to slap me in the mouth. On this particular trip to the store, I grabbed a disposable razor and tossed it into my cart, without thinking I looked at my mom and said “Gyno appointment tomorrow, need to clean up.” She said one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard in response, “Oh Carmen, don’t shave your vagina to go to the doctor, he is going to think you’re a hooker, good girls don’t shave their vaginas!” She took the razor out of my cart and put it back, then spent about fifteen minutes giving me a discourse in feminine hygiene that sounded like something she picked up in the 1950s.

I always think about that moment when I do anything my mom wouldn’t approve of now, especially related to sex. “Oh no Carmen, don’t you dare let your husband tie you to the bed post, what would the neighbors think if they saw that through a window?” “Oh Carmen, don’t walk around in that leather teddy and thong, what if an airplane crashes into your house and the rescue team finds your body laying there dressed in that?” Mom always thought quite a bit about what other people were going to think. Midwesterners tend to be very quiet about sex, yet so vocal with violence. I hear the hunters here in Indiana talking about driving out, waiting for hours in a stand high up in a tree. They rub piss on their shoes to mask their human scents, sip their cheap Folgers from a thermos, and await the prized buck to make an entrance so they can track him, murder him, hang him upside down from a tree and slice him throat to tail. In the same breath, they turn around and talk about risque that latest condom commercial is, and how it’s disgusting to talk about sex on television. They fume over programs promoting safer sex while rinsing blood from their hands.

Often people poke fun, asking me why I haven’t moved to another city to be around more open-minded people. My answer is of course, that my husband and I enjoy living here in Indianapolis. It also brings an exciting element into our relationship, knowing that we share this dark secret and nobody has any idea who we really are. We can lay all our dirty habits right out on the table for each other, and then we truly are naked. At the end of the day, when I come home, slide away that mask I put on every day for the “sane” members of society, and slip into my corset and bonds I feel somehow less restricted.

I always wonder how many people we pass on the street each day who have to hide their secret perversions not only from society but from their partners or even themselves. It excites me to an extent, thinking that Mr. Webber the postmaster might be wearing a leather harness under his uniform, or Mrs. Miller the local church mouse may be securely locked away in her little pink chastity belt. I’m sure there are other people out there like me, hiding away their sexual deviance behind masks of normalcy. I think deep down we all have secrets, we all have little perversions we’d rather hide away, and I truly hope that some day each person gets to experience the total joy of being completely open with their partner.

Monday, 9 November 2009

D/s and sex

Someone asked me, do I have sex with my subs. I gave him my short answer which was, It depends on the dynamic, the energy exchange between us.

I know there are at least a couple forms of D/s relationships. You have the ones that include sex. Ones that don’t. I can easily understand and see both. For me personally, I don’t have in general a hard and fast rule on it. I play this by ear. I’ve been in situations where some elements were good and fun. (Examples: service, impact play) But no desire for anything sexual, be it giving or receiving. Then there are the times after a good session, the sexual energy is flowing with both of us. We are feeding off each other. Oh yes, bring it on!  I’m fine though, either way. If I’m not feeling it with my sub, no problem. It’s not like I’m lacking for sex. I’m rather happy in that department. I do get plenty at home.

One thing I can say for certain, when it comes to new or potential subs, I do have rules. If we have just started chatting and I’m asked about sex, especially early in conversations, I will not give you a definite answer or if I do, I’ll tell you not to expect it. (and I do mean that.) That kind of talking early on will have me thinking the knowledge you have of any kind of BDSM or D/s is through kinky porn you’ve been watching and not actually doing in real life. While strap on sex is or can be a component of D/s or BDSM as a whole, it is not a huge one and one of many other components. And the others take priority.  And while oral sex is great, it is not the general definition of being in “service”.

On our first meeting, there will be no sex of any kind. No matter how appealing and desirable you may try to make the offer or plea. It will also be unlikely on the second meeting. Don’t get wrong. I love sex as much as the next person, maybe sometimes more so. But as I’ve stated above, This is not (all) about sex for me. If a sexual element developes in the relationship, fine. That option is there. If not, I don’t want someone who will get bent out of shape over it.

What I’m saying is, I’m open to the possibility of having another sub, (note: I said adding NOT replacing the one I have now.) If you are sub looking for a Domme for only the sexually related aspects, don’t waste yours or my time. I’m not the Domme you are looking for.

Sunday, 8 November 2009

The beginning; My first taste of pain.

I grew up in a very conservative religious family in the Midwestern state of Indiana.  I attended a small Baptist church in a tiny town nobody had ever heard of let alone visited. My minister Rev. J was a strange man with weird ideas where sin and sexuality were concerned. I remember him telling the youth group that AIDS was punishment for sexual sin, I couldn’t have been but eight years old at the time. Spewing such filth from his mouth with all the vehemence of a fire and brimstone sermon the Baptists are so famous for, well it was enough to convince me I was going to hell for even thinking about sex. I should have known better then, Rev. J also told my mother and I that space aliens were really demons. When I was about twelve, we left the church suddenly, I got no explination from my mother and was hurt that I couldn’t go to church anymore. I found out in later years, that Mister Holier-than-thou was a con-artist from Scotland. He and his wife were convincing elderly church members to sign over their money. I began to question everything I had learned in the church about honesty and trust, if you couldn’t trust the man who was supposed to help you walk the straight an narrow, who could you trust? The straight and narrow didn’t seem so straight and narrow to me anymore.

Fast forward to one of my first sexual encounters in my teen years, I wasn’t a popular girl at all and my sexual experience was minimal. I’d been seeing a guy, we’ll call him Mike. Mike and I weren’t ready for sex yet, but were fond of practicing. During one of our awkward teen makeout sessions, (with my mom sitting in the next room I might add) he grabbed my arms and held them down, he grabbed my throat and choked me as he kissed my mouth. In cheesy romance novels they say things like “She was lost in the throes of passion.” That’s exactly what it was, I was lost in the sensation of being held down, dominated, controlled. I was his, I gave myself over to him completely and allowed myself to be controlled. He rolled me over on the bed and held me down, my arms behind my back. He began to smack me on the ass, harder with each stroke until I cried out. I liked this new sensation, and quickly began research online. I found a small group of people in their late teens/early 20s who were experimenting together in Indy. I discovered other groups on IRC, in #bondage, #BDSM, and #piercing. I met some people who did piercing play as a live show, and became very interested in it. This did of course lead to me being busted looking at porn and losing Internet privileges until I turned eighteen. I think once my mom got into the history files and found what I’d been looking at she got a little scared.

I’ve always liked being dominated, tied up, slapped around a bit. Forget the missionary position, I prefer being taken from behind with rope around my neck. I crave the crack of the whip, and the sensation of leather strands hitting my bare thighs. I don’t require D&S to achieve orgasm, but it enhances my sex life in ways I never could have imagined. Every major relationship in my life has eventually moved into dominance play of some sort, and if it didn’t, I got bored with it and moved on.

I’m married now, and I’m the first D&S partner my husband has had, though he was curious about it before we got married. I’ve had to coach him a little on things from time to time, but most of it comes naturally. Our bondage play is very organic, we have a perfect trust in our sessions, which makes it all the more enjoyable. I’ve never had experiences as rich and fulfilling as the ones I share with him, he finds ways to push my boundaries and I his. I think it’s helped us grow as a couple, our trust has grown and the amazing sex life we share has strengthened us.

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Yin & Yang

“What are you up to, sweetheart?”

Pretty ordinary words, yet so exceptional in the situation we are in. He is on his knees, legs spread a bit for improved poise, wrists shifting gracefully in ropes behind his back. I am sitting on a chair in front of him, all bare except for my thoughts, silently sitting from such a long time, reflecting over issues bothering me of late. They are all coming at me from all the sides at once.

On his face, there’s that little knowing smile, obviously he senses that I am staring at him yet vacantly. He can’t in fact see that through that make-shift blindfold I have created using my wide hair band. I really gaze at him then, realizing how beautiful he looks in bondage, in MY bondage. How much seeing him, right there, calms me down, gets me into that happy, peaceful place.

And he asks again. Subtly Smilingly. Almost Provoking.
I see no need to reply. I’m just stroking his tresses which ever so softly falls over his forehead. This is the kind of touch I know that maddens him with desire… To touch me back; to be touched by me further more. Even deeper.

I take a hold of his hairs, pull him close, stealing soft kisses. The kind of kiss where he wants to respond yet I move before he can actually do so.

I kiss him tenderly on his forehead, on his chin, on his left shoulder, moving a bit closer, pulling his head back, exposing his throat, gently biting him there and then turning that into a soft kiss as well.

His lips parts slightly, heavy with want. Even though he is excited by now, he looks so relaxed, content where he is. Bondage is not a burden to him. He knows that I want him there – just like that. He also knows that further I would lead him where I fancy him to be, doing what I wish him to do.

Right here in this moment, this world of mine is perfect, unlike the other one outside. And its because of him, it’s because of us.

Guiding him by the grip on his hairs, I position his head down, between my spread legs. His warm breath tickling me slightly, turning me on even more.

Tonight, I am going to let him worship me, truly. For what I am to him. And he is going to bring me serenity in my otherwise flawed world.

Me and Him. Ying and yang. Perfect harmony. Bound so intimately as one. In love and lust. In pain and pleasure.

Sunday, 1 November 2009

Senile Sex?

There are more people over the age of fifty having sex right this second in your community than there are people fucking between the ages of 16 and 40+

And what’s more, they are probably doing things together (and maybe even singly for the viewing pleasure of their partners) that they would never have dared to do when still young and not quite sure about the logistics involved.

For instance, there are certain qualities and conditions of the whole sexual universe that take a bit of sophistication and persistence to acquire.  Certain smells, like the aroma of a freshly stroked and glistening cunt, are acquired tastes.  Just as is the flavour of that first droplet of pre cum fluid shining on the head of an erect and straining cock.

As a girl fresh out of my gym knickers I can tell you that the idea of a cock in my mouth was well, a tall order to swallow!  I had to work at g-ing myself up for the big moment when my lips and tongue would tentatively taste and lick, sternly admonishing myself not to engage the gag reflex merely in theory of the act itself.

The smell of a man’s skin in my youth was foreign and not entirely pleasing.  I often found myself insisting upon a thorough wash to clean away imagined germs. As you can imagine, introducing soap and water to the proceedings doused the flames entirely.

Well, that was youth.

Today?  The very idea of a man’s body, those well known planes and angles, the fur and the ridges and musky depths beneath his balls makes my mouth water.  Yes, very Pavlovian of me, I know.  If He tells me to bark like a bitch, I guarantee I’ll be howling at the moon in short order.

His scent is so tantalising I can almost smell it in my dreams.  In youth I’d have shuddered and demurred had he stopped at a lay by on the way home from the rugby match where he’d just kicked a scoring try, growling, “Suck my cock!”  In youth I’d have missed that unparalleled delight of his own special elixir of hormones and pheromones and juices and sweat drying on his well used and masculine body.  I’d have forgone that exotic pleasure, repulsed by the very fragrance of manhood which now alerts my entire female chemistry that it’s time to fuck!  Now, I’d be ripping his clothes from his damp body like an animal and ravaging him just as He ravages me.

The joy of youth is in discovery.  In thinking this thing, this illicit, dirty wonderful thing called sex is something invented by the young for the young and perfected by the young as well.  I must admit that the learning curve for me was often embarrassing and uncomfortable, though I made up in enthusiasm what I lacked in expertise.

If asked would I like a string of pearls, I now know not to grab my jewelry box.  Similarly, if my partner enquires after a bit of rimming, I won’t be salting the rim of his margarita glass.  In youth, the idea of my tongue being in the same room as someone’s naked anus was enough to send me packing.  Today, I might be considering the trajectory of my body arcing through the air as I tackle my mate to worship His ass.

But, hey, that’s me.

One of the many joys of maturity is sexual confidence, the knowledge that not only do I know how to do this, I LOVE doing this!  A degree of body unselfconsciousness helps.  Knowing that we speak in snippets of sight and sound and sensation, not experiencing the whole as much as savouring the parts.  Discovering the beauty of the bits and pieces.  Indulging in the languor of simply holding a recently flaccid and spent cock in one’s mouth while the scents of sex, the funk and spunk and cunt juice and sweat all mingle like a heady cocktail of sensual delight, and knowing, KNOWING, this is bliss.

We forage amongst the treasures our bodies have to offer one another, eyes open, lights bright, minds focused on the multitude of pleasures we are to share.  This has become an art form, a religion, an avocation of elevated awareness and deep muscle massage.  We devour one another daily, never finding that aha moment, the epiphany that says this is enough.  No.  We are forever perfecting, disassembling, recreating our sexual universe.

I am on the scent, intrigued, teased, seduced.

And I want more of HIM.

ONLY HIM

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday, 31 October 2009

The Vicar Fucks His Housekeeper

Untouched though she was, 14 year old Becca Miller had very sophisticated sexual desires.  Her fantasy life was as rich and adventurous as her actual life was chaste and restricted. Two factors contributed to her powerfully erotic cravings.  One was access to the internet, specifically the computer she often made use of at the Vicarage where she performed housekeeping duties at the weekend for extra money.  She stumbled upon sites saved in the favourites folder that were dark and sexual and profane, and Becca quickly found herself addicted.

Equally compelling, the other contributing factor to her growing delinquency of mind was the Vicar, himself. Becca often found herself staring, almost mesmerized by the strange light she could almost but not quite discern in the Vicar’s very unusual eyes.  The sound of his voice during his sermons simply became a roaring in her ears, and somehow she always found herself shamefully aroused, her cunt wet and throbbing.  There were times when he seemed to look directly at her, inside of her.  And when she was aroused, his eyes seemed to leap with hidden flames.

Today as she pretended to dust the monitor, her hand reached for the mouse as though it had a mind of its own.  The images springing to life were colourful, nearly three dimensional and raw; her nipples tightened painfully, rubbing against the fabric of her little white bra as though it were made not of soft pretty lace, but sandpaper.

Cocks, two to be precise, slapped a girl’s cheeks; One on the left of her distressed and tearful face, one on the right.  Becca’s open youthful face drew closer to the monitor in order to see more clearly as her heart sped up its manic beating.  Without thought, her left hand had found it’s way to the moist tender nub of flesh tucked between her labia.  Her clit was distended and swollen, her fingers having no trouble finding their deft way to the center of her sensual universe.

Her vision became myopic, narrowly focused as all the rest of the world receded.  Only the sounds and images on the screen inches from her face mattered.  Gone was the feather duster, fallen from fingers palsied by lust.  Gone was the barking of the butcher’s dog, gone the ringing of the phone and the sound of the answering machine picking up in the next room.  Her mind was so keenly and intently focused on the scenes of ravishment playing out before her lust glazed eyes that she failed to hear the Vicar’s voice informing her that he would be home in twenty minutes and would appreciate it if she warmed his midday meal and had it waiting.

“Open your mouth, slut!”  The guttural, husky voice issuing from the computer’s speakers demanded and the delicate pink lips occupying the entire monitor opened, a pink tongue darting out like a small, wanton animal.  A thick veinous cock probed at that pouting mouth, slicked itself against those accommodating lips, slid aggressively within the humid warmth, plumbed the virgin depths.  Becca was hoarse with panting, her own lips as dry as her cunt was wet. She squirmed, unbuttoning her girlish white blouse.

Head thrown back now in wanton abandon, the girl sprawled on the padded office chair, the wheels rolling several inches in one direction, then several in another as Becca writhed in utter base sensual need.  The woman on the screen squealed as her hair was gathered into a brutish fist, pulling her head back, exposing her vulnerable neck to the teeth of the second man.  Becca herself suppressed a scream as the second man bit and sucked with bestial hunger.  Hunger to match her own growing appetite.

A dog’s collar was placed around the woman’s neck, Becca feeling the leather on her own virginal flesh.  A lead was snapped onto the collar and pulled taut, Becca gasping as though it was her airway, and not the actress on the computer which was brutally constricted.  “Kneel whore.”  Her knees grew weak as the woman knelt, the two rampant cocks coming into view once more.  Becca wanted to see more.  She needed to see more.  To feel more.  Her anus contracted as one of the men growled, “I’m going to fuck Your ass!”

Becca could almost physically feel the sensations depicted upon the screen in front of her lust dazzled eyes.  The slapping of a work roughened hand upon the firm, full flesh of a womanly ass.  The bum quivering and growing red with the impact of each well placed slap.  Yes, her mind screamed.  She wanted this too!  This hard handling and rough speech.  She anted the collar around her own young slender neck.  Her whole being screamed for a Dominant man to TAKE her.

Suddenly, and without warming, her entire world tilted on its axis.  Fantasy and reality collided with the piercing pain of a rough hands on her body.  A harsh voice chastising her.  “Awwww!” she screamed as cruel fingers pinched her nipple and a hand wound in her long dark hair, pulling her head back in imitation of what she had so recently been watching upon the computer screen. “Is this what I pay you for Miss Miller?”

With no warning, she was upended and face down over an unyielding set of thighs, thighs like iron and as hard as the voice of the Vicar which now told her, “So, Miss Miller, you like it rough do you?”  Pain blossomed on her upturned bottom as one then two then five more slaps connected with that previously untouched young body.  The Vicar was terrible in his wrath, punishing the young girl without mercy. The slap of flesh on flesh as his hand spanked her nubile young bottom gave way to the deeper bite of a strap marking the pristine white flesh for the first time.

“So. This is how you repay me for my kindness in affording you income?  Are you a slut Miss Miller?”  The strap bit deep and Becca cried out breathlessly.  “Are you a whore?”  Five more times the strap fell upon that resilient flesh, and five times Becca barked out in startled agony.  Finally finding a wheezing remnant of her voice, Becca replied, “No, Vicar, please!”  The strap immediately fell again; even harder than before if that was possible.

“I said, Are you a whore.”  The words sounded more like a statement than a question to Becca’s distressed and confused mind.  “No!” Becca cried, but the strap convinced her otherwise as it feel with determined intent.  “You’re cunt is glistening,” The Vicar’s voice sounded strained as one of his large fingers slid through the tell tale wetness of Becca’s youthful and aroused bunt, bisecting the halves of her outrageously aroused labia and probing, pushing, thrusting deep inside her untried sheath.

With a lightning fast flick of his wrist, the Vicar used Becca’s hair to maneuver her to her knees.  “On your knees before me slut.”  This frightening turn of events had Becca crying in earnest now.  More than anything, Becca liked to please, thrived on praise and approval.  To be so castigated in the eyes of her Vicar was her undoing.  Sobbing now, Becca pleaded for leniency, for understanding, for a reprieve from the violence and pain of this harsh punishment.  Her cunt flooded with a new wave of moisture, putting paid to her outcry of injustice.

“Is this how you spend your time in my home?”  The Vicar’s voice sounded distorted with rage, and only did Becca’s mind begin to return from the anesthetizing influence of the BDSM pornography she’d been imbibing.  Becca heard, before she felt, the sound of her blouse being ripped as the Vicar brutally tore the thin cotton garment open, buttons flying onto the floor.  Her tears were real, yet her body betrayed her sense of outrage, her nipples continuing to tighten and grow painfully y erect, her cunt swelling and flooding with a new wave of moisture.  Her shame grew just as her arousal increased.

“So, you like the dark side of sexuality, do you?”  Becca wasn’t even certain what exactly he meant, only that she was ashamed of herself and that her body wanted more, ever more.  His hand connected now with her tear stained cheek.  “Answer me slut.”  Becca’s confusion of sensation and experience only grew more profound, and her answer was a bewilderment of words falling like guilty gun shots,

“No!.  Oh, yes, no no no no!”  She had no idea any more what she’d been asked, only that she was indeed, imminently, tremendously, monumentally guilty.  “Please Vicar, please!”  His left hand gentled briefly as he stroked tears away from her guilty eyes.  His right hand, however, held tightly, painfully, possessively to hear long dark hair.  “Slut, you’re stealing from me, stealing as you take your pay each week, knowing you have not earned it.”  Becca began to cry; crocodile tears running down her cheeks as her shame was outlined for her.

Just as she thought her shame would come home to roost in utter ignominy, her parents being informed of her baseness and ugly sexual need, her classmates learning of her shame through the neighborhood grapevine, the Vicar’s voice suddenly gentled, just as his hands began to soothe and stroke and caress.  “Shhh, shhh, baby girl don’t cry.”  Becca was so grateful to hear that crooning note in the Vicar’s voice that she collapsed both mentally and emotionally as well as physically into his enfolding arms.

Becca didn’t even mind that the Vicar’s fingers were tweaking her nipples, encouraging further arousal from that young and susceptible body.  She didn’t even object when one then two fingers probed deep, deep, deeply into the virgin depths of her oh so wet cunt.  “Now then Becca, we shall forget this mistake, won’t we?”  The Vicars lips were tender and sweet as they kissed her eyes, kissed the tears away.  His hands stroking her bottom, adjusting her body so she now sat upon his lap, cradled in his arms

“Would you like to be my special girl Becca?”  She thought she was mishearing this golden opportunity to know reprieve.  She thought she must be imagining the crooning sweetness of that deep melodious voice.  As his hands undressed her, laying bare the curves of her sweet young body, Becca dared to peek from beneath her long dark lashes and whisper, “Yes, please, Vicar.”  When his cock was offered for her to taste, to touch, to explore, Becca took to it like a duck to water, like a guilty young girl to the lifeline offered her.  Like the slut she was born to be.  Her lips opened, just as did her hungry cunt.

And oh, the pleasures they were destined to share!  The sweet rich pleasures of darkness and debauchery and rich tender delight!

Thursday, 29 October 2009

The Agony Is So Sweet

my mind is blank, listening to Her ever alluring voice.   laying here in bed, as She takes me for another ride.   commands have been given, to relax and be wrapped in warmth.   from the top of my head, to the soles of my feet.   feeling this warming seductive glow, sliding through each and every muscle.   massaging my body and mind.   Her spell has been started and now the journey begins.   traveling into Her Darkness.   Her sensual song, wrapping me in sweet erotic bliss.   each word tender silken kiss, stirring seductive yearnings and desires.   Her touches are so gentle, yet each magnifies such strong and fierce need.   to thrust, to touch, to stroke, with mad need, to spill one’s seed.   i cannot move, She has commanded me so.   hot, furious urgings, needs, Her fire consuming me.   taking me to lands, deep within my mind.   just the two us my pet, the agony is so sweet.   held only by my desire, to be here with Her.   Her toy, to command.   

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

The Training Chapter 3

Meat sat in her cage naked in the room pondering all she had seen. Was this to be her life from now on? The whim of some person to use as they desired, their pleasure and not her’s. That didn’t seem fair to her. The ability to punish at a whim for the smallest infraction. She would never let her become like that one slave who willing accepted her punishment of the whip and then the humiliation of having to swallow all that cum. She had never swallowed before and would never in her life do it. She was always the one men wanted and would do anything to have her even for one night. She was always the center of attention and she was not going to accept being a piece of meat. Meat was for eating or disposing of and she was going to eat or be disposed of. She would show them. She fell asleep thinking those thoughts. She would fight to save who she was.

A sudden noise awoke her with a start, it turned out to be a slave rapping something on the bars of her cage to wake her up with a tray. Meat spoke up and said “I will have eggs over easy, sausage and toast for breakfast.” The other slave just looked at her and laughed then placed a tray down in front of the opening for it and pushed it through. The slave walked off slowly.

Wait, said Meat. Can I talk to you for a moment?

The slave turned and looked “Sure, I bet you have all sorts of questions but I am not supposed to talk to you or is anyone else so I will give you 3 questions an brief answers.

Meat thought for a moment, “Do you know where we are? Can I get a note to the outside? and do you think of running away?”

The slave without hesitation answered, “No, I don’t and I don’t care I am happy here. No you can’t get a note to the outside and I did like you at first but I have found a happiness here that I have never felt before.” The slave turned and hurried away in the direction most every one had come from the previous day.

Meat thought for a moment, she is brainwashed, she must know where we are and how things go in and out of here. Why doesn’t she think of running away? She thought they must use some brainwashing technique that would cause her not want to escape from her enslavement. Why would anyone want to live in this, to be used and punished at someone’s whim.

“She understands her place and she is rewarded when her service is good” Meat heard from behind her. This startled her as no one was around a few minutes ago. You were limited to 3 questions by my choice said the man. She followed her instructions perfectly. She will be rewarded for following instructions and she is a good slave. She turns around and see’s the man standing there. She looks at him and this time demands to be released immediately. The man laughs and said it is not possible my services have been paid for and I have a no refund policy. I train slaves for people as they desire. The unwilling ones are always a bit more difficult the willing ones also have their own issues. You were brought to me for training, no you have never been here before and no the slave you talked to doesn’t know where she is as do the other slaves. You will be trained to service your Master as he desires. If he says “I want your ass now” you will promptly bend over and take his cock up your ass willing. You will by the time I am through with you. You will be trained to be an obedient slave and when I am finished you will greet your Master properly.

Your training begins in one hour. Eat you will need the strength. He walks over and starts to arrange things, opening storage cabinets getting various items out and laying them on the table. Meat slowly eats her food as she watches him. He is very intent on every action, every item and every place he looks he gets something. Not realizing the time is passing the man claps and 4 slaves come out. Bring out number 3 to start with, he tells the slaves and with a nod they depart and return a few minutes later with a that resembles a table but with most the center gone. The table is set up and secured to the floor tightly. Meat notices there are rings all the way around the table.

“Bring her” said the man.

Two slaves come over to the cage on unlocks it and the other reaches in an grabs her arm and pulls her out. The other grabs the other arm and they lead Meat to the table. The two slaves held her arms behind her while the man attached leather straps to her arms, legs and torso. Meat watches as he methodically palced each strap. Everyone of the straps had 4 rings on them. They were tightened to be snug and hold without cutting off circulation. Next a another piece was brought over with seveal rings on it. Meat looked at it then realized it was a hood. The minute she realized what it was she started to fight back. One of the slaves standing there grabbed her hair and pulled it back forcing her to her knees. The man walked up with the hood and placed it over her head. There was a place for the nose and mouth but no eyes were cut out.

Being completely blind and unable to hear anything Meat kneeled there. She felt a pull on her chin opening her mouth and then some sort of tube was inserted as she could feel the opening with her tongue and felt it cinched into place. She would be able to breath not matter what. A nipple was grabbed and she could feel herself being pulled up and when she was standing pulled in a direction. Meat didn’t know what to do or think she was completely at the mercy of the man and his whims. She is lead to step over something and then made to lay on the floor, it feels a bit cold. She is positioned just so legs spread slightly, arms at sides. Meat knows she can’t do anything at the moment but she will get away, escape this imprisonment.

Meat feels her one of her ankles lifted and pulled farther apart. She thought they will see all of me in this position and more if they do the same with the other one. It feels like something it being pulled by something. Meat’s ankle is left hanging in mid air or so the feeling is. Her other ankle feels the same pulling sensation on her other ankle as the first one. Her legs are spread apart even more, she thought exposing me even more than I have been since I got here. The next pulling was up by a strap that was near her knee which opened her up even more, Meat thought “How am going to live this down?” Her leg on one side is left hanging in mid air unable to move. Soon she feels the other leg being lifted and hung their in mid air unable to move. All Meat knew is she was on her back her legs were tied wide open exposing her pussy to whatever and she was getting nervous about it. What are they going to do to me? wondered Meat.  Meat felt another strap just above her knee being pulled tight.   Meat realized that she was going to be fully exposed to whoever would happen in.  The other leg was being pulled away and tight against something.  Meats legs were basically opened wide and up in the air but her head was still on the ground at this time.  Suddenly her body was lifted into the air, her arms and head were yet to be tied.  Meat was thinking that no one had really touched her since the party the night before but all this handling surely someone had touched her.  She thought for a few minutes and no not really, the leather was put on by either wrapping it around or sliding it up but not really touched.  Meat feels her arm being lifted and the wrist pulled to the side.  Since she can’t really hear anything but  she does wonder what is being said about her.   Her arm is pulled at the elbow she knows she is being tied off, exposed, humiliated and what else were they going to do to her before they were finished.  Her other arm is being tied off at the wrist and at the elbow again.  She feels her tits move and sort of fall to each side when this part is complete.  She feels the strap she saw on the hood she has on being pulled tight her head brought up with that.  Meat then feels another strap being placed under her one arm and pulled tight lifting her shoulder up on one side then another on the other side.  Meat realizes she is suspended completely, she thinks in the table that had no center, she wasn’t sure.

Meat couldn’t hear the people moving around as they tied her into the table.  Though very little talking was done commands are given to aid the man as he binds her into the table.  Her legs spread he must take time doing only so much at time for as not to cause injury.  Working slowly making sure each one is secured so it won’t come loose while this piece of meat is in it.  Her legs then arms torso and lastly the straps for under the arms.  Pulling on the ropes and chains that are securing her making sure they are tighten properly.    He moves around the table as if something is missing.   He goes to the cabinet and pulls out some clamps with bells on them not large ones but they will be heard when moved.  The man places them on her nipples careful not to touch her.   He then goes to one end of the table a pulls a handle which releases two locking pins on each end of the table.   The table now spins so Meat can be placed upside down.  The table is flipped so Meat is now facing down.  A flogger is run down her back slowly across her ass and then down one of her legs.   Meat shivers as she has no idea what just went over her but it did feel okay.   The flogger is brought back up the other leg and rubbed against her pussy.  Meat thinks what are they doing and going to do to me?

The man releases the table again and this time spins it around several times.  The slightly weighted clamps swing pulling on her nipples, she tries to object but can’t.   The man reversed directions several times in there confusing Meat if she is up or down for a moment or two.   She knows she is up by the pull of the weighted clamps pulling to the side not straight down.  She starts spinning again.  This time for a longer period of time, so long she almost gets dizzy.  Meat realizes that she is upside down by the pull on her tits from the clamps.  Meat realized this would be her only method of knowing up from down at least for the time being.  Sure time was passing but how much she couldn’t tell whatsoever.  Soon it stopped Meat could feel the thud of the pins snapping  into place.  Meat determined she was facing the floor since the weights on the clamps pulled down.  Her tits were actually getting accustomed to them.  The pulling on them while being spun around had been much more interesting than she thought, the weights pulled every which way at first she didn’t thing anything would happen but all sudden she felt herself getting wet.

The table stopped and she felt the locking pins close.  Then she felt something at her pussy lips.  It wasn’t a normal feeling either, kind of big but at the same time exciting.  Suddenly it was unceremoniously shoved up into her, hard and with force until it wouldn’t go any farther.  Meat would of gasped if she hadn’t been gagged.  She felt like she was going to be split in half when it got all the way in.  Meat didn’t now what it  was but it was large.

The man decided that she needed to learn how not to cum.  He found his largest vibrator and shoved it up into her.  He had heard the muffled gasp as it spread her, a smile came to his face.   He slowly turns the vibrator on low and picks up the flogger.  Meat feels a vibrating and not sure where it is coming from the she feels the sting of the flogger as it hits her ass for the first time.  She is wondering what they are going to do to her, another strike of the flogger against her ass.   It hurts as the flogger keeps hitting her ass and after some time it changes, from pain to pleasure.

The man hears the change in tones of Meat’s mumblings, he turns up the the vibrator and watches to see if she attempts to fuck it.  When no sign of that is happening he flogs her  ass again for while and near the end of it he sees her trying to fuck the vibrator but she can’t move.   The man turns off the vibrator and hits her ass again with the flogger.  He picks up the speed of  the hits, watching and listening for signs that she is trying to get herself off.    The man lets her get near and the pulls the vibrator out and then hits her with the flogger like she is doing something wrong.

Meat is getting turned on by the object, she thinks is a huge vibrator, in her and the flogging she is getting.  Suddenly the vibrating stops and the orgasm she that was building  quickly subsides.  She thought “NO they can’t do this to me!”

The man just smiled as he watched her struggle knowing that she was close too and not letting her get there was part of it at least not yet and it would actually be several days before she would be allowed to cum.  The man waits a bit, long enough to have a cup of coffee brought to him and drink it.  The vibrator is shoved back up into her as the flogging continues.

She feels whatever it was rammed back up into her and turned on higher rate.   As it gets all the way in a flogger hits her ass again.  The flogging seems to be faster also and a bit harder.  Meat felt the pain from the flogger which was hitting harder and harder with each stroke.   The pain was almost too much for her but  she couldn’t object to it in anyway.  Whatever it was in her before was back and much stronger, she was enjoying that part of  this.   Her near orgasm before started to come back, she wanted so much to fuck something.  The minute she started to try and fuck what was in her it would go away.  She was trying to tell them to let her cum NOW!  Meat was trying hard to be heard but with the gag in her mouth she couldn’t get them to hear her.    Let alone the fact that she couldn’t hear them either.

This went on for  hours getting her close to the point of orgasm just to stop and let Meat cool down. Then start over.  Meat after hours of this was just about fit to be tied, well she was tied, not letting her get her way was out of the question.

The man snapped his fingers and about 30 men lined up with several slave girls to make sure they were nice and hard for Meat.  Meat didn’t know what was about to happen to her but would real soon.  All Meat knew is  she wanted her pussy pulsating in an orgasm.  Suddenly she felt hands on her and then her being violated by someone, fucking her hard and quick.  After only a few minutes he came, then another rammed into her hard he lasted few more minutes before he spewed his cum into her.   Meat wasn’t getting turned on enough to have the orgasm she so desperately wanted.   A third man, then the fourth, Meat thought how many are going to take me and when are they going to let me cum.  The fifth took her, she thought what am I the fuck of the day.  I want my orgasm now!.

Meat after several more could feel the cum that the men had been dumping into her start to run out.  The men entering her didn’t seem to end the amount of cum running out of her was alot.  She was unable to cum and after what seemed like forever a man left not to be replaced by another.

The man had put a bowl under her before the first cum started to run out of her.  The cum started to collect in it  slowly at first but as more used her the faster it collected.  The collection of cum was growing as each slave male stepped up to deposit his cum in her.  The man could see her trying to cum but at the pace the slaves were fucking her she never would.  The male slaves filed in and fucked her and moved on so the next could fuck her.

Meat was beginning to wonder if they would let her cum or not and how many were going to do her.   She was trying to cum but they moved too fast for her, just as she was getting to a point they would be done and pull out.   It felt like hours of men entering, fucking, cumming and then leaving her.  She could feel their cum running out of her, she thought what a mess on the floor to clean up.

The last slave entered her hard and fucked her even harder than all the others.  Meat was sensing after the initial thrust this was going to bring her over the edge finally.  The man realized he was taking too long and with the flogger hit the slave and said “Cum” and on command the slave came and then pulled out before Meat had a chance to cum.  Meat hung there wanting the release of orgasm after being taken so many times that it is all that mattered to her.    The man waited a few minutes watching Meat struggle in order to make herself cum but unable to move the way she was tied up wasn’t going to happen very easily.

Meat felt the thud that she had felt earlier before she was spun around.  The man spun her so her face was up, Meat could feel the cum start to run down her ass.  The man had a female slave pickup the bowl of cum on the floor and hold it while he affixed a funnel to the tube that was going into Meat’s mouth.  The man took the bowl from the slave and began to pour.

Meat felt something going on, was she going to be released now?  No it felt like something was added to the piece of tubing in her mouth.   Suddenly she tasted something running down the tube, she wasn’t sure what it was but she swallowed, Meat had to in order to breath.  The man would pour a bit then stop so Meat would have time to swallow and breath.  He took his time pouring and then scraping.  Meat would get a load then swallow all of it then breath for a few seconds and get another load, she thought what is this stuff I’m swallowing?  Soon all the cum that was in the bowl had been poured done the funnel but there was some that sort of took it time.

Meat thought I hope there isn’t much more of this as the last large load of cum was poured in.  She thought how long am I going to stay like this, cum still dripped down the tube in her mouth and she would swallow it.  She hung there frustrated they wouldn’t let her cum and wondering what was going to happen to her next.