So my husband and I are members of a BDSM club. Honestly, the only reason we joined is because we had friends who were members, and they encouraged us to join. They knew full well that we don’t have a Dominant/submissive relationship. So we joined and at first I was quite pissed off upon hearing some of the Doms and their god-like attitudes toward themselves and the world. I’ve since come to understand the dynamics and, even though it’s not for us, I respect that some people want to live their lives like that. They are all consenting adults, so it’s none of my business.
This club has its huge share of drama, of which I have been a part. My contribution has mainly been due to the fact that some of them think it would be a good idea to align ourselves with the local Goth crowd. Our club has an obsession with getting new members, and apparently will stoop to the lowest levels to do this. We used to be fixtures in the Goth scene, and left it because of the scene’s leaders and their lying, manipulative behavior. One woman in particular has trotted her cottage cheese thighs over to our club message board and tried to ply her crap on us. When my husband and I have pointed out that these are not the sort of people we want to attract, we’ve been called negative and accused of having a vendetta. Well, we do. This woman’s now-husband pleaded guilty to allowing minors into a downtown club when he was working security there (it is on a state court website). The scene has moved to about 5 different bars in the last 6 or 7 years due to issues with underage drinking and drugs. We highly suspect that the leaders are making deals with bar owners to get in x-number of people in exchange for a cut of the bar tab, which explains why they’ve migrated to the worst dives in town that are desperate for business.
Recently it has been discussed that the BDSM message boards aren’t exactly secure, and, that even though people use pseudonyms there, they are easily tracked down on the internet because most of them weren’t smart enough to choose a user name different from what they use on other internet sites. In a random search of members, I’ve been able to find not only people’s real full names, but in some cases their business connections. One woman was stalked by some idiot who found her profile on the BDSM site and managed to track down where she lived.
The site is set up like this: there are guest members, and there are active members. The access to profiles and forums is not much different for each. Guest members can only read the guest message board, but that is where a lot of stuff gets posted. They can also see member profiles. All it’s going to take is another stalker, or some pissed off ex who’s looking for dirt in a custody battle, or a suspicious employer, and any guest member can find pretty much all the dirt they want on someone. Even though BDSM is legal between consenting adults, it still bears a huge stigma in mainstream society that could ruin a career or result in loss of child custody, especially in Idaho. I’ve expressed my opinion as to the access that guest members should have to the board but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears, mainly due to this obsession with getting new members.
This Goth leader bitch is a guest member, of course. She has been a guest member for about 4 years. You look back through her posts and can see that she’s said she was going to join and become an active member (and never has), or that she’s so excited about a class or event (never shows up). However, she freely uses the board to promote her Goth events and to encourage the two scenes to become more intertwined. Yet she won’t commit to a lousy $20 bucks to become an active member. My husband and I have proposed that guest members have 90 days to decide whether or not to become active members, and if they don’t, their account is deleted. There was another bitch who was actually a founding member, who logged on and held forth about all the drama. She admitted she only logs in about once a year and that it’s the same old shit all the time. How would she know, when she comes to look once a year? She got hammered by some of the others, which was good. Of course she is not an active member. Yet she has access to the boards and the profiles. Personally, I think unless she coughs up the $20, her entire account should be deleted, “founding member” or not. There are other so-called founding members who are inactive as well, and I think they need to be booted. Obviously they aren’t interested in the group anymore. Get rid of them.
This is my bitching BDSM rant of the day. Thank you very much.
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